Fair skin and marriage to good
and handsome boy are complimentary in nature………….
The first step of arranged
marriage was taking place in the village where I was doing my field work. Yes,
there is nothing different about it. As I came back from the field, I had to
sit outside till all the discussion took place. I guess that it did not go well
because the girl did not match the beauty parameter of our society.
After few days of this incident,
on the occasion of festival called Makarsankranti (onwards the days become longer than night)
I did wear sari and go to temple like every girl in the village did One
statement that crossed my heart and can remember vividly was that, “ with this
fair skin, you will get good husband and in-laws”. I acknowledged that I have
fair skin, but never cared about it. My aim from childhood was get job about
which I am passionate. If society is taking only the skin color into
consideration then it is looking down on the other talent that the girl
possesses it.
The host family always had a protective
attitude towards me. It had whole list of do’s and don t’s before I left for
the field. One of them was that always be on alert that you have a fair skin,
which is prone to number of harassment from the opposite sex. For this solution
was to get married because then it will not be a problem anymore. With Sindoor
and Magalsutra, the society will respect you. Unlike in urban area, there are
many eyes watching on you in the village. It is pretty common in urban area to
wear little bit of make- up. However, it was judged from case to case. So they
considered if I am doing it is as I have a fair skin to show off. On contrary,
if individual with dark skin does then she would be considered a laughing
stock. The girl of household used to envy me because she was constantly
compared with me. I used to feel bad about it and could not comfort her at any
point of time. I also found it tough to
answer why was not married till now and is your father not worried about
searching a good boy. I always smiled would shyly say that I have to complete
the education and earn a living. The females in the village, used to counter by
saying that what about your family life. This disagreement of thoughts was also
a part of my field work. A girl is not seen beyond household chores and rearing
children. This leads to nest assumption that if girl is not being married till
a certain age then there is some issue with the girl.
Our society has made it difficult
for girl or woman to live with dusky or dark skin tone. The fact that everyone
has a whole set of unique DNA is always overlooked. Every girl in the village,
to be satisfied, applies a skin brightening cream. She is not allowed to be who
she is. Even if a lot has written over this topic but still we fall back in
same trap. Ultimately, it causes a hindrance for her to reach the highest
potential of girls and women.
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